Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Too Busy to Respond?

Telling someone - "I am busy". Do we need to put some thought before using it in our communication? I have started doing so recently and would like to talk about that here today.

There are different ways and situations where we hear these words - "I am really busy". Let's take two such scenarios. First, when we are having a casual conversation with someone and the person asks about how are things going. The other case may be when a friend is trying to reach out to you and you have not been able to get back to him/her even after your friend's repeated attempts. Eventually, when you meet after few days, you try to shrug it off by saying - "Hey, sorry could not respond. Was busy [full stop]"

There's a difference in the two situations and I started this post to share about how the overuse of this word, "busy" can harm our connections. So, I will limit myself to the discussion of the second situation. I feel that in this case, essentially what we are telling the other person is the following:- Hey, you are/were not in my priority list. Remember, this friend of yours tried to reach out to you not just once but several times? So, even if you are extremely busy, after seeing repeated contact attempts you can very much spare a minute or so to at least drop a line showing that you care for the other person and that you consider his/her time as valuable as yours (unless you have reasons beyond your busy schedule for not reverting).

Now, next point would be - the tone of your message. Instead of just saying, you are busy and stopping there, wouldn't it be nice if you explain just a little bit more (if you are genuinely busy)? This just shows that you are interested in speaking to the other person but because of the time constraints, this may not be the best time. More so, you can tell them when would possibly be a good time to catch up and then stick to it!

I am not denying the fact that there are times when we are genuinely busy and can not afford to be courteous, thoughtful or conscientious at the expense of missing on something really important that we may be doing at that point in time. After all, your friend may not be aware of your schedule. All that I am trying to say is that it would be nice to reciprocate to some extent (a quick message will do) and show that the other person is important to you, if you actually care about him/her. If you end up not responding, that's also your choice. Just accept that the the word "busy" then is just an excuse to cover you up.

Although it's just a four lettered word, it has enough power to harm how you connect in your relationships. 

If you have read till this point, thanks so much! 

- Dippy

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